Come one come all to see the Illustrious Intern, the Tyrannosaurus Temp, the President of Part-Time! You know him, you love him! This man could read a phone book and make it sound interesting! I give you, for the first time ever on the XYZ stage: Will Jacobson.
This Super Smash Bros fanatic has taken the helm and lead his school's video game team to victory like the champ that he is. In other words, he is a patron of the arts. He speaks fluently in memes. In other words, he is a man of letters. He is adamant that there are more wheels in the world than doors. In other words, he is a philosopher.
So give it up for Will. We are so happy to have him here. He comes to work every day with a smile and an enthusiasm for the job that is absolutely contagious to his coworkers. Let's give him a hand, y'all!